I want things to go somewhere. I want them to start evolving. I want to know there is a plan for the future and that we aren't just wasting time. Assuming that things happen like we say, I need a few things to change. I'm not that happy right now with things. I'm probably going to sound a little demanding, but I really need some of these things to start to change.
So. I need to feel like I am part of your life. I don't want to create a future with someone where I don't know what is going on in their life. If your busy, that's fine, but nobody is ever busy enough that they can't take 5 seconds out of their day to send a quick text to check in. If I know that I'll get a better conversation from you on the weekend, then I'll wait to share things until them. But I would like a little "Hey, hope everything is going well." message every now and again.
If you're trying to figure things out, let me help. That is what I am here for. I don't want you to have to go through this on your own and you shouldn't have to. I want to be there for you. I want to know what is going on in your life. I want to know what you are debating about in your head. I want to know these things. I need your full attention sometimes. I feel alone when replies come every 45 minutes. That is a long time to wait for a reply, especially when I really needed someone to talk to.
I need to feel like I am part of your family. I don't really know anything about your family. If it is hard to talk about, I get it. But I hope you trust me enough that you don't mind sharing these hard conversations with me. That's how we grow and learn together. But if we aren't given the opportunity, nothing will change.
I need you to be open and willing to doing different things with me. I really enjoy going up to the mountains for the day. I want you to experience that with me. As I want you to share your life with me, I want to share my life with you. I want you to feel like you are part of my life. I want you by my side through the good and the bad. Especially the bad. I can only hope you feel the same way.
I want us to work together, as partners, I don't want us to have to do this thing on our own. If things don't start to change, I might have to bow out. I would rather know that I'm not in a position to count on you, that there are no strings attached with us. It hurts. I feel sad and unappreciated when you're "too busy" to say hey. I get being busy. I understand having a lot on your plate, but I just don't see how it is so full that you can't say hi.
I feel like I need to stand up for myself in this part of our relationship right now. If you want to work for this, I am all in. But if I'm not near the top of your list, I'll find someone else who will put me up there. I need to feel like I am respected in this and right now, I don't really feel that way. I will give what I receive and right now, that isn't a lot. This isn't an ultimatum, but I want it to be a push in the direction we've talked about, a push to have a meaningful talk and compromise about what we expect.
I want to work on this, on us. But I need you to want it too.
