Life has a funny way of unfolding itself.
It is hard to know at the time if Life takes you on minor or major detours until you are looking back at it. For example, while I was studying my map I originally went to college thinking I would double major in Elementary Education and Spanish. Within my first year I went on a detour that led me down the Early Childhood Path which I am 100% happy with. At the time I would have said that it was a minor detour, but looking back it was a major turning point for me.
Everything after that seems like smooth sailing. I was working on my Elementary and Early Childhood degree and could see the light at the end of the tunnel: a teaching job in an Elementary School. That was my plan and it seemed like everything was working out for me.
Life must have thought I needed a new detour since I hadn't really had one in four years. I had my Elementary interviews, one I bombed and one I rocked. I was pretty confident in getting one of those interviews. Life had a different idea and sent me back on the Early Childhood Path. Right now I can see two roads; one road is fairly clear and leading to preschool whereas the other road is rather bumpy and uncertain but will lead me to elementary.
On top of Life doing its own driving, you also have backseat drivers. These people could be family, friends, or even strangers who think they know what is best. Mine are family and family friends. The preschool path for them looks dinky and useless whereas the elementary road is the only road to go on. They see me subbing, jumping school to school until I land that elementary job. I appreciate their confidence in me, but what if that never happens? Do they think about what I want or just what they see fit for me?
Maybe I'm not cutout to teach elementary in this town. Maybe I don't want the added stress that this district puts on teachers- especially new ones. I am confident I could get a teaching job in another town and state. I don't want to live in another town or even another state.
What I see about the two roads Life has set for me, is they are both over-arched with teaching, kids, and making a positive impact. Those things are what matters to me. I know I'll need to make a choice soon. Do I want to stick with the Early Childhood Path that Life has laid out so easily and is less stressful or do I want to take the harder path back to my original plan of Elementary?
What my backseat drivers don't realize is that if I do choose the Elementary Path, I would take the Early Childhood Path if it didn't work out. Maybe not getting a job was a sign that better things are to come with my Early Childhood Path than Elementary? Maybe that is what I want to believe.
What I want to guide my decision is my happiness. I don't want to choose something because everyone wants me to. For all I know I could be planning one path and Life will detour me to the other or a completely new path. I'm battling between Elementary and Early Childhood and I feel so conflicted.
What I worry about is if I choose the Early Childhood Path, will I be wasting the four years of education and money I put in to Elementary? A bit, I think will be wasted because you can't apply everything about Elementary to Early Childhood since the kids will be a different stages of life. I have so many books and materials that are meant for Elementary that I will never use in an Early Childhood setting.
I found this picture and decided to try it:
I feel like I should want to continue to pursue Elementary but, I don't. I feel like I can have the same outcome (or better) by doing preschool. With preschool, I can see where it will take me and I think that's where I would want to be. Why not flip the tables: if Early Childhood doesn't work out, I can always sub. I think I've been told SO many times to continue with Elementary that I forgot I can ALWAYS come back to it.
The world is always going to need teachers.
