Relationships are so confusing. In all sense of the word from a colleague to a friendship to a love interest. I try to make sure I have a good relations with everyone but some people make is SO HARD. When I am in a bad situation I try to make myself see things from the other person's perspective to make sure I am not the one doing the harm and change my ways from there. But sometimes, that isn't the case. Sometimes, I just cannot find a way that I am harming others more than they are harming me. That makes me sound a little self-centered, but that's how I see things.
Recently, I have actually realized what it is to hate someone. Genuinely dislike to the point where I cannot wait for them to be out of my life because they bring such a negative vibe and energy into my life. The three of us are in a position of power in the band and have to work together. However, they give me no power. The head of the snake...let's call her Anastasia should have more power than Drizella and myself because Anastasia is the instructor where as Drizella and I are just section leaders. But that's not the case. Anastasia and Drizella decided to share the power leaving me with doing all of the tasks they don't want to do. Which, you know, I guess is okay because these tasks generally are pretty important...buuuuut I'm all for equal share in these roles like every other section in the band.
These two people have cause me so much stress this semester. I have tried very hard to not let them get to me, but it is really hard. Especially when you are invested in something and want to see everyone succeed and you feel like you're the black sheep of everything. Observing them teach and give feedback is so sad. I try to give feedback to everyone and Anastasia gives feedback to the ones she enjoys....which is Drizella (but she's always perfect) and Drizella's minion. Which leaves six of us thinking we're okay, even if we aren't. I don't really know when all of this started, and I feel like I am more at odds ends with Anastasia than Drizella but they're both so far up each others ass that I consider them the same. (I thought about deleting that sentence...but I couldn't find any other way to word that.)
This may have really snowballed down when I made a mistake [how dare I??!] and Anastasia got very, VERY upset with me. When I tried to apologize she didn't even try to listen it was just "You should've done this. No excuses." So I was a little frustrated and sent her a fairly long message apologizing and explaining myself. I pretty much told her that I don't feel respected as a leader and it makes it very hard to respect her when it doesn't feel mutual, but I have been very supportive of all changes she has made when people question them. From then she stopped talking to me, stopped looking at me during practice, stopped helping me, stopped making sure I was doing okay when I missed things. This all happened late September/early October.... SOOOO it's been going on for quite a few months.
When I try to put myself in their shoes, I don't think I am in the wrong. People make mistakes, but I owned it and my reasoning was valid. I think Anastasia is more upset that I made her look bad in front of "Lady Tremaine". I don't think I've been disrespectful to Anastasia and Drizella's face. Behind their back...maybe a little bit but they've been disrespectful to my face in front of the rest of the guard. I JUST DON'T GET IT.
I hope they are very content with themselves in making others feel like shit about themselves.
This is a little tangent, however I feel like this whole situation is very similar to Cinderella hence why I changed their names to match the Ugly Step Sisters. My view on Cinderella is that she is someone who goes through her life, even though she has people treating her like trash every day, with a smile and positive attitude that things will get better one day. Cinderella marries the Prince and moves away from all of that negativity. If she can be kind to all of these negative people I can as well. I know, she's just a cartoon, but I love the message she brings.
I think I'll leave this post with this emphasis on these colleague relationships and come back with another post about friends/love interests for another time. So the moral of this story is to be kind to everyone, even if they aren't kind to you. The world cares about the kindness of others, good things happen to those who are kind to others.
So yes, we all can take advice from Cinderella. 😃👸
One last parting words from Cinderella:
