Chasing People

Okay, so I've never been one to always be in a relationship. Like, ever. But I can give some hella good advice if you need me to. At least, that's what people tell me! But there are some times when I'm like, "ooo, a boyfriend that sounds fun. I'll pick you!" And I chase this boy around just trying to make him like me.

 

But I was going about it all wrong. It is quite literally the worst way to get into a relationship. Do you know why? You aren't being your true self.

 

I found this while browsing Pinterest the other day and it hit the right cords at the time.

So, the end of last semester this guy started flirting with me. But at the time I was getting over a bad break-up and wasn't wanting to have him be a rebound even though, indirectly, he was. So summer came and we both went back home and barley talked. I replayed moments with him where we couldn't taken things to the next level but didn't. Sometimes I looked at those moments in regret, other times, I was glad nothing went further (not that it was far to begin with).

Band camp comes around and we start talking more but every time we do he always brings up this girl he had a thing with over the summer or a super hot girl in band, etc. Pretty much I felt like the last thing on his mind. And it didn't quite bother me. However, it seemed like everyone around me was in a relationship and I felt like I needed to have one to.

So naturally I picked him. And I chased him around, not quite acting like myself. A few weeks went by and things between us heated up. And I didn't know what to do. He kissed me and I wasn't sure where I wanted things to go between us.

I did a dumb thing and started to avoid him for a few days. Which wasn't bad because we were busy with band and it was easier to stay with our sections than to mix sections. But still. I was being a jerk to him.

After debating it, I didn't want a relationship. I mean, this might sound a bit harsh, but I didn't want a relationship with *him*. A relationship in general, hell yes...but not with this guy. I didn't, and still don't think, we know each other well enough. I've been told I have high standards but that's how I was raised and I'm in the mood of lowering my standards to please people.

I digress, because I had to debate whether or not I wanted something with him I felt like it was necessary to tell him no, I didn't want a relationship. That I want to focus on myself. Which is kind of silly, I've been focusing on myself for years. But the past few months is when I started being happy and comfortable with myself.

One of my apartment mates told me that I function extremely well being single. Most people, her included, can't function without having some sort of interest. And me, well, I can do my own thing and not care. When I find the right guy, I'll know. Maybe that's why I shut people down so often. Something inside me knows they aren't the right guy so I turn them away. Who knows.

I guess my point is don't chase people. Don't change yourself just to impress somebody. Whether it's a friend, coworker, or someone you want to date; just be yourself! As Dr. Seuss said:

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You”.